Battle of the Storylines!

Here are the two dueling story lines. Below is an excerpt from each, from the same moment in the story. The first excerpt is the original, in which Cassie the main character is finding out the adoptive parents of her child have both died unexpectedly.
The second is the newer rewrite where the parents do not die but the child is very very sick. I very well may end up writing them both to completion and then choosing but would love to hear what you guys think! Thanks for your time and I hope you enjoy!

EXCERPT ONE:

“How did you find out? When did this happen? What happened?” I cradle my chipped coffee mug , cringing at the acrid cold taste, I drink it anyway.

“I got a call earlier today, I’m an emergency contact for the Eliots, in case anything ever happened to them or Connor. I’ve been at the hospital all day waiting. They were coming back from the zoo; a truck driver dozed off and veered into their lane, smashing them into the wall on the freeway.” I shudder, the echo of shattering glass and crumpling metal swells in  my ears.

“If they were at the zoo then Connor was in the car, are you sure he’s ok?” bile skyrockets towards my teeth.

“He’s fine; he’s with Sarah’s mother for tonight. Some minor bruises and cuts from the broken glass. God Cassie, Tom was killed on impact, the truck plowed right into his door. Sarah was pinned in but the SUV began to smoke. According to the witness accounts and the police report she got herself free and pulled Connor out of his seat and they went out the broken windshield just as the car caught fire. The big rig was carrying flammable liquid. There was a leak.” She hesitates giving me the chance to stop her before she burns Sarah’s fate into my memory.

EXCERPT TWO:

“How did you find out? When did this happen? What happened?” I cradle my chipped coffee mug , cringing at the acrid cold taste, I drink it anyway.

“I got the call earlier, I’ve been at the hospital waiting to find out more. He’s been sick for a few weeks now but late last night they rushed him to the E.R.” I shift uncomfortably on the vinyl seat, cold sweat washing over me like a tidal wave.

“So how sick? Like the chicken pox? What exactly are we talking about here Janice?” I can hear my mouth machine gunning the questions into the air but I can’t stop it, even though I don’t want to know the answers.

“It looks like leukemia. They should have confirmation by Monday.”Tears threaten to break through her eyeliner and pull rivers of charcoal black down her cheeks. I can’t breathe. Leukemia…no they’re wrong. Leukemia ? The more my mind mulls the word the less it feel real, I try wrapping my lips around it but it still doesn’t fit.

“Leukemia.” My eyes travel the table top and up to Janice’s, there nestled in her dark round pupils is the truth. LEUKEMIA.

HELP ME DECIDE!

Comment and let me know what you think!

Battle of the Storylines

Welcome back ! Glad to see you here. I stayed up well past midnight last night tooling around with the revamping of my story. Last night the changes were a no brainer, the rewritten sections all masterpieces! In the harsh daylight of today the old story line cries for my attention from the dark corner I banished it to. The first and original idea is the total basis of the story. I had the thought one day while driving aimlessly, kids screaming in the backseat, radio unsuccessfully drowning them out, and BAM idea.
 What if you made the choice to give up your child but years later you were put in the position to reclaim them, or let them go again?
 Mind you this had no basis in the fact that MY kids were driving me insane! I quickly built a story around this idea, and then the idea changed. 76 pages in, heart and soul pounded into cyberspace and poof, a whole new prospective for it.
What if you made the choice to walk away from your child forever, never looking back because it hurt too much, what if years later you were the only one who could save that child's life.
The raw emotions that came with the idea were over powering. I immediately jumped on the change and began reworking the story, a boat load of changes would have to be made to make the switch.
When I sat down today to continue, the old story tugged at my heart. Now I am stuck between the two, doubting my every key stroke. Has this ever happened to you? If so how did you deal with it? If not , of the two listed ideas above, which would catch your attention more as a reader?
Later today I am going to post a small portion of each, essentially the same scenes but with opposite story lines, please stop by and check them out and let me know your thoughts!
Thanks as always for your time! Hope you enjoy!

I just can't decide!

Technical Difficulty

So sorry if you stopped by while I was trying to edit my past post!
It was being difficult and not fitting into the screen, thus half of the words were being cut off!
This is also the reason for the crazy breaks in the poem I posted, I just couldn't make it fit without hacking it to pieces! Sorry and I hope you enjoy it regardless of its very poor set up!

Wow Total 180!

Well it's Wednesday and sometime during the night my sleepy subconscious and my fictional characters decided to completely change one of the main plot points to the story I am working on. I would be mad because that's A LOT of rewriting and revising but, it's a better storyline and conveys far more emotion and drive than the one before it! So who am I to argue with imaginary people and my own subconscious?

I am still hoping to have at least part of chapter 1 up by Friday. So please check back and as always feel free to comment, complain, ask questions, or just mention your own blog or book!
Here's another little something I wrote a while back, it may read a little confusing at first but try it again, you might like it!

Thanks as always for stopping by, please come back soon!

Until Next Time

I am deafened by the shrill scream of the girl I use to be . Her stomping juvenile feet kick my heart making it jump, her excitement fills my chest making it hard to breath. "it's him, it's him , it's him" she chants in my ear The woman I am now frowns trying to ignore both the past and her endless rantings. The girl I use to be loved him , his smile, his eyes, his laugh,   his total ignorance of her love. The woman I am now tries not to look, same smile, same laugh, I thumb our wedding band , the woman I am now loves a different man. We pass, the girl I was, the man he is, the boy he was   and the woman I am, inside I am a wreck, a pile up, a head on collision. The girl I was and the boy he is no more lock eyes.  The woman I am can see the man he is   fighting the past as hard as I am. The boy he was and the girl I use to be scream to be set free, to run into each others older arms. As the man and who I am now throw awkward smiles and safe weather observations at one another.  Words like hand grenades  fall around us,  as we tip-toe through verbal landmine fields,  trying not to set anything off. Smiling through the passionate screams of the girl I use to be   "what if , what if what if.... he was the one" We turn to walk away, back to the lives we have now, tearing the past lives we shared apart. I can hear the girl I used to be sobbing, cursing the woman I am now for being moral instead of spontaneous. I glance back and   catch him looking back too, he was the one I whisper to the girl,  but that was another life time. I take us all home, her and me who we are and who we use to be. She sighs and lets the boys memory free, and I  sigh and think,  "until again we meet ".  Incase you were curious all the pictures I post, minus book covers, are photos I took at some time or another, hope you enjoy them as well!!



New Things on the Horizon

I hope to have a few chapters from my rough draft up by Friday. I'd love to get some feed back and hear ideas of what works and what doesn't, I'm even open to a full on "this sucks". I am open to any and  all comments and criticism. I've written stories my whole life, rarely ever letting anyone else read them. Same with my poems, but after meeting and chatting with so many amazing authors on such great sites as book blogs and good reads, I really want to venture out into the world and show everyone  what I've got! The best advice I could give to reclusive writers like myself is : Everyone is going to dislike something, but somewhere there's someone who loves your story and your characters as much as you do, and they deserve to read about them!
So keep an eye out for the first few chapters of Then,Now and Always coming soon!

Sixteen year old Cassandra Coven has to make the heart breaking choice that to love her baby she must let him go,but this choice comes with consequences. Not only will she lose her child but the only boy she's ever loved.Years later she is given a chance to to make right the things she regrets most, because now her son Connor needs her again.This just might be her last chance at love.

Becca Bloom and the Drumsticks of Doom

Becca Bloom and the Drumsticks of Doom

By: Rusty Fischer

Your drumsticks . . . or your life!

Becca Bloom never knew she had a father, let alone a rock star god who’d sold his soul to the devil for success! Now, with her Dad dead, it’s up to Becca to keep her father’s Drumsticks of Doom from the bloodthirsty demon who wants them back!

Becca Bloom is a delightful head banging teenager, who with the help of the mysterious and sexy Darren Dark, must fight off the demon who is hell bent on taking her father’s drumsticks. I loved this story, it is new and fresh and the character Becca has a unique and very likable voice. She is a realistic teen with her own quirks and thoughts and came across as one of my favorite characters ever. This quick paced adventure is filled with suspense, mystery, heavy metal, romance, plus demons and ghouls a plenty! You’ll be cheering out loud as Becca stands her ground and defends the only thing the father she never knew left her. A fun mix of wit and edge of your seat drama Becca Bloom is definitely worth checking out!

Becca Bloom and the Drumsticks of Doom is available at: https://www.nobleyoungadult.com/Books/299  for $5.95

And also on:  http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11714469-becca-bloom-and-the-drumsticks-of-doom

Rusty Fischer is also the author of Zombies Don't Cry (Medallion Press, 2011)

You can visit his blog at

www.zombiesdontblog.blogspot.com for more info on his books as well as some really insightful writing advice!

Fairytale

I was digging through old saved files and came across a large collection of poems I wrote several years ago. I thought I would share them here since they aren't having any fun being lost and forgotten in the intricate circuits of my lap top! Thanks for coming by and as always I hope you enjoy!

 FAIRYTALE

Tell me again the fairytale, where you always come back to me, the one where you weren’t with someone else but  innocently lost at sea.

Whisper in my ear the story of how I swept you off your feet, and how there’s no comparison between me and the others that you meet.

Cover my lips with yours to stop them from exposing the lie. Wrap your hands around my heart to keep it from breaking when you say

Goodbye.

Contest Loser

Here is a short story I wrote for a contest way back, they emailed the results yesterday, I did not expect to win but it still kinda sucks when you don't. I re-read the short story and decided it needed some polishing but I love it anyway, so I thought I would share it with you guys. As always thanks for your time and hope you enjoy!

Finding Him

            Some things in life are linear she thought as she pushed open the door.  The familiar sights and sounds engulfed her like a womb. She hated that coming here always felt like coming home. She perched at the far end of the bar, sitting on the unstable wooden stool. From here she could see the whole crowd.

            Tonight would be the night, tonight she would find him. How many bars? How many nameless men had she passed over, or sometimes through it seemed over the past year?

            The wrinkles around her eyes pulled together as she squinted through the haze. The low hanging smoke, dazzled by the flashing neon gave each of the men a shellacking of what she was looking for.

            Not tall enough, too old, too many tattoos, brown eyes not the velvety green she longed for. As she crossed the men off looking over them her heart felt heavier. She had begun optimistically; dressing in her Sunday best, gliding from bar to tavern all over town, each night promising herself tonight was the night she’d find him. Tonight had turned into tomorrow had turned into next week. How many times over the past year had she done this? He was out there somewhere, and she would find him or die trying.

            A slight head nod to the burly man behind the bar got her a scotch and water. The glass slid smoothly toward her like a freight train full of her past. The cold clink of the ice as hand and glass collided chilled her. Wasn’t this tiny insignificant glass half the reason she was sitting all alone?

            She fought the stinging of tears with the burn of cheap alcohol. The empty glass sat mocking her. There was a ghost of pale pink lipstick clinging to the rim. She wondered about the woman whose lips had preceded hers. What had she been drinking? Why had she been drinking?

            Another nod, another glass of disappointment and watered down liqueur filled her palm. Three drinks later and a dozen polite rejections to the off work construction crew, she slid shakily from her wooden perch and veered toward the ladies room.

            Cold water ran over her hands as she tried to wash tonight’s failure off of her skin. Maybe tomorrow she said as her eyes fell onto the sad reflection weeping back at her. Where had all the time gone? It seemed so very long ago since she first lost him. Ages since they laughed and ran in the warm sunshine. She bit her lip recalling his smile, his fierce green eyes, the Irish lilt that would not leave his tongue even after so many years in America. To her, he was Superman, and she was just a lost little girl waiting for a hero, but somehow, somewhere along the way he had forgotten to save her.

            She turned her gaze to the empty towel dispenser, frustration pursing her lips. As she pushed the swinging door open thinking maybe tomorrow, her ears latched onto a familiar sound just beneath the hum of the bar.

            “Top o’the morning to ya boys.”

            The air caught in her lungs, as more tears threatened to break camp and invade her cheeks. Topped off with doubt and afraid of disappointment she turned the corner, like a sudden flash of lighting on a clear night, there he stood.

            Her heart clenched inside her chest. Would he go home with her? Would he yell and put up a fight? Would he be too drunk to know her? She sucked in stale bar air through scotch coated teeth and trudged toward the complete unknown.

            Without a word she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek still cold from the night air. His green eyes sparkled back at her, his smile the same as always stretched across his jaw. He nodded as if he could read her mind. His eyes were a storm of past, present and booze. He rose taking her hand in his; together they headed for the exit that would release them for now, until the next time. How many times had he forgotten about her, but never about the booze?

            “Momma, its Karen,” she spoke quickly into the phone, “I found Daddy.”

Her fingers brushed for a second across the Alzheimer’s id bracelet hanging from his small knobby wrist.

            “I missed ya,” he whispered as they drove, she sobbed silently, relieved he remembered her at all.

           

           

           

Vicious Cycle Unbroken

As the sweltering summer days roll past I find myself trapped in a very familiar albeit frustrating cycle. During the year (the school year) I tell myself at the end of a long day, "Just wait until summer comes, there will be SO MUCH free time to write and revise". 12 days into said summer and I find myself without the time I so dearly promised to me. Between the never ending house chores, the endearing need to spend every waking second with my kids so that their summer is FANTASTIC , and the basic every day cook , clean , walk the dog I find myself sitting in front my laptop at midnight bleary eyed and foggy brained trying to type up something with depth and feeling but really only managing to bang out some superb typos and nonsensical plot lines. Am I the only one who battles this beast? Would love to hear how some of you out there manage time between living life and making fiction!
Thanks as always for your time!

Amanda

Enchanted Island Series...... A MUST read for magic lovers!

I just finished reading the first two books in Krystal McLaughlin’s amazing Enchanted Island series. The first is The Witches Lottery: When Sophia and Drew McKibben's parents are killed in a tragic car accident, they are shipped off to live with an aunt they never even knew existed. Believing that they are moving to a privately owned island just off of the coast of Mystic, CT to live alone with her, they are surprised to find a sort of under-aged bed and breakfast.

Sophia draws the attention of one of the locals, Falen, immediately. He always seems to know exactly what she is thinking, and to her frustration, everything she does seems to amuse him. When a newcomer to the island brings with him a sense of deja vu, she begins to ask herself the ultimate question: Am I going crazy?

Sophia's world starts to unravel when she notices her own brother acting just as abnormal as the rest of them. When she begins to realize that the life she left behind looks even more bizarre then the one she was forced to leave it for, she's faced with a decision to make: embrace the new life that has been given to her, or drown in the past. Either choice brings with it more secrets and deceptions to unearth. The problem now is that the two worlds may actually be more intertwined than she thought.

I was captivated by the characters in this story. They were unique and real, some lovable some detestable. I went in thinking this was not going to be a story I would enjoy, but before I knew it I was charging through it with an unquenchable need to know what was going to happen next. Full of magic, intrigue, mystery and romance The Witches Lottery is a perfect summer read anyone who loves magic and romance.

Book 2: A Dragon Forsaken: In a world of mystery and magic, Daphne is unique.

Unlike her friends, who have awakened to the magic inside of them, Daphne was born with it. Daphne was born a Dragon.

When her past begins to resurface, forcing her into a web of lies and deception, she is forced to accept unexpected alliances and risk everything for the sake of love. Something that she swore she would never let into her life.

As the newest installment of The Enchanted Island Series unfolds, she'll learn that nothing is ever what it seems, and when webs get this tangled, everyone's fate hangs in the balance, and nothing is coincidence.

As soon as I turned the last page of Witches Lottery I snatched up Dragon Forsaken. Book two is told from Daphne’s point of view and as her past intertwines with Sophia’s present and future a wild adventure explodes on the page. Each chapter is like a puzzle piece that falls into place making the reader ooh and ahh as they discover along with the characters the sinister plot surrounding them all. This book made me laugh and brought tears to my eyes, you will cheer out loud for this unlikely group and when it’s over you will be waiting on the edge of your seat for the next book, I know I am!  

Both books are available on Amazon.

Vacation

Just got back from a 5 day vacation in Galveston Tx.Schlitterbaun, Moody Gardens and lots of out to eat!  Everyone had a great time and I got some reading and writing done in the cool, breezy evenings next to the water. Found myself wanting to add mermaids to everything ! Will be posting some books reviews by the end of the week and hopefully getting some of my own work up for review!
Thanks for stopping by !

Amanda

Virtue By: Amanda Hocking

Virtue is a thought provoking story about the age old struggle between good and evil.Lily is sweet and innocent without a care in the world until she meets Lux. In a heartbeat he sweeps her off her feet then abandons her alone in a forest full of living nightmares. Can love really conquer all?

A beautiful story with characters that will make you laugh, cry and cheer as they fight for the fate of the world.

I love all of Amanda Hocking's books and this one did not let me down. Excellent characters, action packed plot and heart pounding true love! An amazing read for anyone!

Non Book Related Babble

When I'm not reading or writing or RE-writing things I do tend to lean towards goofy jewelry making. It's been awhile since I made anything but now that I am off for the summer, LOOK OUT! My husband and I stayed up until 3am this morning making things. While he is more of a steam punk medals and weapons man,  I came up with what I call ,"Pocket Monsters". I called them that because most of them are made on or in the backs or bodies of deconstructed pocket watches. Personally I think they are really cool and will be replacing Pokemon in the near future, (in my head).
Here are some pictures of my Pocket Monsters, pardon the horrible photos it WAS three am and I didn't feel like getting my real camera out so I used my phone!
Hope you love them!

Hate List By: Jennifer Brown

In a world still reeling from the terror of high school and college shootings comes a book that shows us a peek from the other side of the gun.
Hate List is the terrifying and heartbreaking story of a girl named Valerie Leftman. Valerie and her boyfriend Nick, like many kids in school now make a "Hate List" of all the people who have snubbed them in some way. to Valerie it's a way to vent and let out her pent up feelings against those people. To Nick it's an agenda.
When Nick finally decides to finish what they've started Valerie is shocked as well as implicated in the crime. Now she must face her own guilt as well as the blame from her peers as she returns to finish her senior year.
Hate List is a stunning story of despair and triumph, wrapped in the angst of being a teen in the world today.
A must read for teens and parents alike!

ANGELFALL By. Susan Ee

I just finished AngelFall by Susan Ee and I am dying for more!

AngelFall is an action packed, fast moving, hint of romance adventure that
should not be missed. Penryn is a typical teenage girl dealing with a
schizophrenic mother, a handicapped sister, oh and the end of the world as she
knows it. Angels have come to Earth destroying everything in thier path. When
her sister is taken by the Angels, Penryn will face hell on Earth to get her back
with only her crazy mother and a wingless angel to back her up.
You will be
swept up from page one and begging for more when the last page turns.
AngelFall has all the things a great book needs, action, romance likable and detestable  characters, surprises and twists, a roller coaster of feeling and thought all inside one novel!